


Ambicide, Hosticide, Famicide

by nangka



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M, Gen, Platonic Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2355506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nangka/pseuds/nangka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His soul stirs inside her, drawing her to the lands he once had power over. On reflection, it should have been her duty to kill him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ambicide, Hosticide, Famicide

"Now you know the answer to your question, Miraak." She mutters, and it's not in a loud voice or a shout, but a whisper that could easily be missed. The tone isn't condescending or sarcastic, but instead, it's somber. There's a lingering of biterness and that still hasn't passed even if no one is speaking.

Staring at the skeleton of Miraak, it's more haunting than any dragon skeleton. The mask isn't on his face, his robes blood soaked and tattered. This is the mighty, glorious death a dragonborn like the two of them deserve. It's a death deserving of a fools with schemes they thought couldn't go awry.

The skull turns, and Miraak's voice can be heard, yet she can't make out the words. Even without understanding the words, the feelings and emotions Miraak's words conjur are powerful.

She wakes up, seeing her sleeping spouse beside her. It's that dream again, and it's been happening for months on end now. Miraak haunts her more than any ghost or memory, and in the end, she didn't even lay the final killing blow.

The Dragonborn places a hand on her lover's shoulder. "I have to go again, but this time I will be gone for much longer." Getting up and leaving is harder when she's at home than versus at some random inn or bedroll. "I'll bring you and the kids something back from Solstheim this time. I promise." She doesn't waste time getting ready, hearing an understanding, but slightly disappointed tone from her lover. She needs some time alone, and she still hasn't talked about what happened in that final battle with Miraak with anyone.

The trip to Solstheim feels like it takes longer than the last time the Dragonborn was here. It could be impatience, but she isn't eagerly awaiting everything that will occur on this visit. Sure, there will be friendly faces to see again, funny stories told, and emotional reunions. Yet the first reunion the Dragonborn has is with multiple bottles of sujamma at the Retching Netch. There she catches up with many of the locals, and even an old companion who ends up getting way too much gold at out of her.

More drunk than she should be, she stumbles back home to her house in Raven Rock. It's rather quiet, but the smell of ash reminds her this isn't Skyrim. She hasn't been to the house since she left, but right now, all the Dragonborn can only think of is sleeping or eating a mammoth trunk (cooked, preferably).

Heading towards the bed, there's a chest that's half opened. It's like something is keeping it open, and well, the Dragonborn could easily just ignore it and go to sleep, but something just bugs her about the chest. Opening the chest up, it's revealed what the culprit is.

It's Miraak's sword.

Holding the sword, it doesn't take much effort to recall how the sword came into her possession. The Dragonborn doesn't want to think about this, though.

Or maybe she's not drunk enough to let herself feel comfortable thinking about Miraak.

She sleeps, but she does not escape Miraak. The last words Miraak said to her keep replaying, his skeleton haunting her, and that sensation when Miraak's own soul absorbed into her... but something breaks the pattern. It's the deadric prince, with his many eyes and tentacles that speaks to the Dragonborn.

"Fate has brought you here, I have brought you here. I told you that you could not escape me."

"And you cannot escape me, Dragonborn." Miraak's skeleton arises, his skull facing her as if it were staring right into her own soul. "We are so alike, you and I. Do you see it yet? Can you feel it?"

She awakes, wanting to shout apart the deadric prince, but instead, a headache emerges as the burst of anger fades. Stumbling around, it takes the Dragonborn a while to realize this isn't one of her usual houses or an Inn. It's that smell of ash the cold ground that makes her come to her senses.

Right, this is not Skyrim, this is Morrowind, Solstheim.

(even if his influence and hold are gone, this is the land of another dragonborn)

She could lie in bed longer, maybe visit Neloth, but that would end up with her doing errands for him. Maybe that's what she needs, though -- it's a good way to take her mind off things. If she's really up to it, she could visit the Skaal village and check up on how things are doing there. She didn't exactly leave the people there on the best note, but she's rather sure they're doing well since they're strong, hardy people.

She closes her eyes, half expecting her eyes to open soon after, but she falls asleep again.

Days pass, and of course she ends up doing an errand or two for Neloth. He says he's close to some break through, but she doesn't fully believe him. The man always seems to be busy or on the edge of completing or understanding something complicated, and she knows asking him to explain things would just make him more fussy. She really doesn't mind doing these tasks much, and it gives her time to get some air and actually enjoy the island at her own pace.

She sees the shadow of large wings as she walks, but that's not what gives the dragon flying above her away. She can feel the dragon, its soul, and feel the power of its thu'um. Alduin's allies have dwindled considerably, so very challenge her these days. It's usually her having to fight a dragon because they've let their arrogance get the best of them by attacking innocents.

The dragon does not attack her, instead flying north. She follows it, not trusting if the dragon is going to be peaceful. She always assumes a dragon is looking for a fight, but not because she thinks they're all evil, but she knows the nature of dragons. It takes a strong will and life philosophy for a dragon to follow a path similar to Paarthurnax's, and most dragons rather give into natural instincts and desire.

The dragon finally perches itself on a set of ruins, and it becomes clear what these ruins are. She's known for a half a mile or so where the dragon is headed, but she doesn't let herself fully acknowledge it.

Miraak's temple is once again disappearing, the elements decaying it and burying his history and legacy once again.

"A dragonborn stands here once again." The dragon says to her in the language of the Dov. "You have been following me for a while, haven't you, Dovahkiin? Do you wish to fight?"

Her fluency in the dragon language has gotten much better. Paarthurnax is a very willing teacher to her, loving to speak to her and teach her new words. It's a struggle, though, as many mortal concepts and words cannot be translated into the dragon language and vice versa.

"Do you challenge me?" Because she knows most dragons will not turn down a challenge -- its their pride that causes this, even if there is a high chance of defeat.

"Only if you challenge me, Dovahkiin. I heard the temple of the Traitor was being restored." She's come to realize even if dragons are aspects of Akotosh, they're bad with the concept of time. Maybe it's because they're immortal, but she thinks it might be due to time treating dragons differently (thus their understanding of time and concept of it is different).

"Miraak. He is dead, his temple is in ruins once again." She says to the point, and then she tries to recall how long ago it's been. "It has been over a year, dragon. Why do you have interest in such a thing?" She knows the story of the dragons raising Miraak's temple, but she rather hear it from the dragon.

"Many years ago, I was ordered by Alduin to help destroy his temple and make sure it never rose again." So this dragon has survived that long? Or maybe Alduin restored his life. Either way, it's surprising the dragon has come this far for such a thing.

"So you still have loyalty towards Alduin if you are returning?" She asks, but she doesn't feel overly alarmed -- she doesn't fear this dragon or any.

"No, Dovahkiin, but it is a duty I swore to, much like the Jailer." The Jailer, she thinks to herself, trying to recall who that is and why it sounds so familiar. She then remembers stumbling across ruins and fighting a dragon priest with such a title.

"The Jailer finally rests, his duty done. I have put both of them to their eternal resting places." More like she wasn't given the chance to save either of them, at least she tells herself when it comes to Miraak. "Your return here serves no purpose," she turns her head, looking at the view from this height. She doesn't catch she is being a hypocrite herself by standing here. "Unless you came to gaze upon these lands, dragon, but I suggest you find Paarthurnax and swear your allegiance to him."

"To Paarthurnax," the dragon says, and she looks at him again. "Not to you, Dovahkiin? The slayer of the Traitor and of the First Born?" The way the dragon says it, with those titles, it does sound rather impressive. She can't help but feel a surge of confidence, of power, but she doesn't let it affect her demeanor long or tone of voice.

"I don't need dragons swearing their allegiance to me. I am powerful enough." She doesn't realize until a few seconds later, the dragon looking amused, how the statement can be interpreted in multiple ways.

"So the Dovahkiin is that confident, but deserving of it." She doesn't correct the dragon because maybe it's true. If she wanted to, she could raise an army of dragons and take this island, Skyrim, Tamriel, and maybe the other continents if she so pleased, but she hasn't. "If it is as you said, then I am off." She hears the sound of flapping wings, and a few moments later, the dragon flies away. She watches the dragon for a while until it fades into the sky above.

She then is left alone in the ruins of Miraak's temple, and it's much quieter now, maybe even colder. She feels like if she closes her eyes and then opens them, she'll see Miraak standing in front of her. She wonders why he haunts her so, and she wonders if she feels guilty. She has killed many of all races, religions, mortal and immortal, yet Miraak is the only one she lingers on. It doesn't feel like guilt, but more like his death has never settled right with her. Dragons expect to be killed by her, and some even treat her like a dragon, yet she doesn't see herself as fully dragon. She connects to dragons in a certain way, but cannot fully understand them. She cannot fully connect with mortals after slaying Alduin, and it has become even harder to connect to mortals after killing Miraak. Miraak was the only being like her, a true dragonborn, she's ever met, and she was ready to kill him. Maybe it was Hermaeus Mora's bidding she was doing all along, even if she felt like it was free will. Maybe she wouldn't feel this way if she actually killed Miraak instead of Hermaus Mora. Maybe his soul would be-

She puts her hand to her chest, realizing something. Miraak's soul, all the dragon souls he gathered, they are inside her. Miraak has been a part of her this entire time. She should have killed him, but instead Hermeaus Mora did.

"Is that why you haunt me, Miraak? Even in death, you still think of your pride and legacy." She mutters to herself, a bitter laugh almost passing between her lips. "It should have been me." To kill him, to lay him to rest, she says to herself in her head. "You deserved that much, to be slain by one like yourself, your own kind." She lowers her hand, starting to walk closer to the temple and eventually inside it.

She goes down the stairs, through the passage, her fingertips brushing against the carvings in the walls. They feel familiar to her, but she isn't sure if it's because she's been here before or it's something to do with Miraak's soul inside of her. She doesn't understand why she keeps waiting, almost expecting, to hear his voice and say something to her. Instead of his voice, she hears the stirring of the undead who still haunt this place, and she only needs to shout once to tear them apart, their bodies falling to the ground. 

"It's always on your terms, isn't it?" She mumbles to herself, resigning to the idea coming here is rather pointless. "Should I have slain that dragon to bring you out?" She still remembers the first time Miraak stole a dragon soul from her, and while there was annoyance, she was more dumb founded than anything. It didn't help he talked to her, asking her if dragons felt pain when their souls were ripped from their bodies. She never thought about it before he raised such a question, but now she can't help but truly wonder. Did it hurt when she ripped Miraak's soul from his dying or dead body? From his corpse? She shouldn't care, shouldn't think about his pain, but she does.

Alduin deserved his fate, but Paarturnax still mourned his passing. Miraak deserved his fate, and she still has too many unsettled feelings about his death.

Or maybe she really isn't comfortable with the fact Miraak deserved such a fate. He wanted to rebel against the dragons, didn't he? Yet who knows the kind of cruel things he did in this temple. Yet it's not about being good or evil, those things are mortal concepts, not categories that can fit dragons. Miraak was never good, a _hero_ like her, but what caused him to stray so much?  At the time, she didn't realize how many questions she wanted to ask him, but now that he's dead, she has too many. He could have had her fate as the defeater of the World Eater, but he decided on a different path. Did he really choose? Or is what Hermaeus Mora said to her time and time again really true? That he's let mortals believe they decide their own fate only to have it serve him? 

Could she have saved him? She closes her eyes, knowing the real Miraak isn't going to show up.

"That is very arrogant of you to think, Dragonborn." She opens her eyes when she hears that familiar voice, turning to see Miraak standing a few feet away from her, arms crossed over his chest. "To think you could defy Hermaeus Mora when I couldn't, and saving me? You are truly letting what they say about you get to your head." She walks closer to him, knowing it's probably all in her head, but he still has an effect on her. It's chilling to see him like this, real or not, and it makes her uneasy. 

"Nothing to say? Then you know it's the truth." He sounds almost amused when he says that to her, which snaps her out of her somewhat dumbfounded state. 

"I should have killed you, that or found a way to save you." She's been wanting to say that, and this being her chance, she can't help but confess it to him. "At least tried."

Miraaks shifts, the atmosphere feeling much heavier. "Maybe. I would've wanted that, thus Hermaeus Mora denying such a thing and using me one last time to serve as a warning to you." His voice sounds much more serious, but there's a brief pause before he speaks again. "I rather would've died than be saved, especially by you." Hearing that from him, the words almost hurt as they sink, but then there's almost a sense of relief. "Pride is what started this all."

"Those are the words you're longing to hear, aren't they? Do you feel better?" She can't help but quickly shift from contemplative to annoyance, especially since she can tell he's mocking her. "Who knows if it's true, Dragonborn, but does it matter? I am dead and you are alive." 

"You are right. This isn't real." She firmly states, and it's probably to tell herself that.

"It is not, but there is something." He points to the center of her chest, his index finger almost touching her. "I made it so that you will remember me. Forever." Miraak retracts his hand, fading away.

 She shifts, turning away and looking back towards the path to exit the temple. "How could I forget the only other of my kind I've ever met?" 

 

When she exits the temple, she sees a rather excited looking mage. She knows those college robes well, having once worn them herself. The young mage comes closer, her eyes wide open and looking like she wants to ask the Dragonborn far too many questions at once.

"Did you, did you really go in there? This is Miraak's temple, isn't it?" It's actually quite rare people know of his name, so she nods.

"Yes, it was his temple. What do you know about him?" The young woman blushes a little, probably out of embarrassment.  

"Well, not much but..." She doesn't look at her anymore, head turning the side. 

She thinks about it for a second, deciding on something that actually surprises her. "I have some time. Let me tell you about Miraak -- what he was and what he could have been." The mage looks way too excited at her saying this. "Let's walk back to Raven Rock. I have a house there and some good local sujamma." 

Miraak will never be a legend like she is, but she won't forget him. 


End file.
